STOP BEING A NICE GUY, OR WON’T YOU?
A lot of guys have this huge problem with approach anxiety. When you see a hot girl in a club, a guy’s heart rate goes up and adrenaline starts pumping through his veins.
Usually, I used to have approach anxiety, but it is to a large extent Brazil. I used to be like many of you guys. A lot of the time, I would freeze and wouldn’t talk to any of the girls. Eventually after my friends would tease me and ask me how I was doing with girls, I would get the answer:
“I don’t know how to talk to women.”
“I am afraid of rejection” “I am afraid of success”
“I am afraid ONLY of being rejected & not having any number of girls I can call”
Ridiculous? Well, I had a hard time rejecting the fact that I didn’t know how to talk to women. This came to the reason several years ago that I’m on anti-depressants!
Do you know what the easiest way to get over approach anxiety is?
The answer is – STOP BEING A NICE GUY!
I used to be like many of you and I hated that namby pam playing thing with girls. I hate it when you open a girl and she is just about to reply to a question and you say: “Whatever you want to talk to me about, just say it”! Are you kidding me…?
I was like many others that had a difficult time talking to women in social settings. Finally, I came up with a situation that really objections to this.
Let’s say you are at a party, a party in a friends living room. There are at least 40 people in the house. You take a deep, relaxing breath and I get out of the house. It’s a beautiful evening and you finally talk to a girl. You introduce yourself and you are now talking to her.
First you try to impress her. Maybe you show off for a while and flirt a little. She’s interested in you too and accepts your advances.
This is the part where it starts getting interesting…Your conversation has gone well…I mean you talk for hours and hours and there’s no awkward silence or that awkward moment when neither of you want to anymore.
Then you start asking her what she’s into and where she works or studies. Now this is where most guys are weak. They will go: “Ohh, alrighty, what do you like working at the supermarket? Or that place over there?”.
The thing is, she doesn’t care what you like. In fact, she will find this very refreshing and will completely disregard your previous attempt at starting a conversation. She is especially interested in you now that she knows what you like.
In case this is a complete stranger you are chatting to for the first time, do the same: forget about the namby pam of talking to her and simply talk to her like a normal human being. Talk about your pet and talk about her. Notice the fact that she is nodding while she talks to you and the fact that she is laughing at some of your jokes, even the lamest ones.
If you are one of those guys that go crazy whenever she speaks to a stranger or a girl, well I hate you… Hate everything about you. I don’t care how sweet and lovable you may be in your mind’s eye, when she meets you, she is going to find out for herself. Don’t get me wrong here. It’s not being said she will not like you and decide not to return your feelings, but she doesn’t like you in the way you think she does.